Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Your Attention Please ISRO!!!

Dear ISRO,
First of all my hearty congratulations to all your wonderful scientists for making Chandrayaan-1 a dream come true, the first ever of its kind. What makes me more happy is that the unfathomable feat was accomplished using only 4% of the allotted budget for the project. That is something to be marvelled at. Now that you have so much money in your kitty, I request you to make one more trip along with the following people and giving them a one-way-ticket to the moon. I do not need them here, not now, not ever :)


1. Raj Thackeray and the likes, who spread the language of goonda gardhi in the name of upholding religion. I know there is not least of grace and humanism present in you, but would really appreciate if you go and bury yourself in the craters of the moon, never ever returning to daub our abode. You (try to) rest in peace, am sure once you are gone with your followers , we surely will :) so ADIEU :):)

2. All the debauch men present who cannot control their sexual crusades. I am telling this with utmost dignity embalmed with fury, do not play with the innocent children, their helplessness and physical inability to fight you. Try to have the dregs of altruism and go to people who are in the profession, catering your needs (not by choice or accord, nevertheless). You should be punished with nothing less than a painful and ever lasting castration.

3. All the University thieves in the facade of answer script evaluators. You dont have the sense to evaluate papers correctly the first time, then ask the poor students to shell out 700 bucks for a single paper to be re-evaluated (for many families losing 700 bucks is ten days of sleeping with wet loin on abdomen) and then, like magic, the marks are increased by 40-50 upon hundred. What is the deal? You dont deserve to be here. Bump your heads on the trenches on moon and let us see if that knocks some sense into your piggy heads.

4. Not breaching trust is like walking on a tight rope over the Pacific, which needs meticulous balance lest we should fall, never to be redeemed again. So all you politicians who play with peoples' trust, good bye forever.

5. Was in Annai Illam (Mother's abode) a few months back. It is a home for the deserted and aged parents, who have been deprived of their property, pride, dignity, love, faith and thrown there, with nothing but a soul with incessant prayers to god to call them soon. Met a judge's wife (65 yr old). She said her son was really magnanimous, even after marriage. After Judge uncle's demise, her son gave her a separate room with attached bathroom, air conditioner, television and all the latest magazines. Food was delivered promptly by the ayyah into her room. The only condition was that she should never ever leave her room, come what may. To the son- Who wants to live a life of luxury? This is not the real comfort to your mother. Get that into your henpecked brains. She needs you by her side to speak to, your children to play with, your wife to ask her doubts while cooking, share family matters, involve her in a evening light meal talks, your attention, your TIME, your LOVE and not your latest gadgets.
Why do some children treat parents like sugarcane? extracting all the juice, sweetness and thirst quenching elixir over and over again, then throwing away the remnants?Good bye to you too. Meet the likes of you at moon and rot there forever.

6. On the lighter side, I want to send Himesh miya for 'acting' in karzzz (a curse). Dude, if you promise to stick to nasal singing, and bid adieu to malodorous acting, I'll tell ISRO to fetch you back!!:)

7. Last of all, ME :)
Sometimes, I tend to commit mistakes, knowing fully well, they are mistakes. The need to put head into the gutter knowing fully well of its contents. Yeah please send me to the moon, for spending a 100 bucks and reading one night @ the call centre. Sree, if you are reading this, I know you'll bury me alive :) But believe me, the book was pathetic. Bhagat Bhai, you cheated me. I expected lots from you after five point someone. Will not read three mistakes of my life, and commit my second mistake!!:)

Thanks in advance ISRO :):)


P S :-Feel free to add the kinda people you wanna pack off to the moon :)


35 comments:

Appy said...

Your post was gr8 and i must say u have gr8 sense of selection :D

vinny said...

hey, cool post man..i love the Raj Thackeray part..about u going to the moon, pls connect with Bhagat Bhai first : http://www.chetanbhagat.com/blog/

Preeti said...

@appy
thanks for visiting!!:)

@vin
yeah buddy:) I already e-mailed him, anyways, will comment on his blog too :):)
cheers:)

vanilla sky said...

Wat a post!!
the Thackeray cartoon is grt!!
and #5 is really, really well put
and yes, One night .. was a real trash , and God! the climax of 3 mistakes... surpasses every other trashy Bollywood flick!
i've seen people selling off One Night ...and 3 Mistakes... at second hand book shops
and your mistake is not so grave ,that you have to spend rest of your life with those dickheads !

Richa said...

oh pre...

bows!!!

gr8 post dudette!!
n plz avoid uself being sent on the moon or u'l have to share 'space' wid those unwanted on the planet ;)
u r more needed here :)

Love yah!!

Preeti said...

@vanilla
thanks buddy :) yeah, ISRO might offer me a two way ticket !!:)

@richa
HUGZZZ :)
u'l have to share 'space' wid those unwanted on the planet ;)
ROFL :):)
cheers !!:)

Hemanth Potluri said...

hahaah...thnks to ISRO...and thnks to u ...u packed a lot of people to moon ..let them also go to sun sun :P..

u had me laughing so much preeti...

urs..hemu..

Priya Joyce said...

tats the best solution hum khush aur woh bhi khush...lol


hmmm u hav added almost all hmmm again i actually hav almost same ones..
:)

Anonymous said...

what is ISRO?

and dont ever commite the mistake of reading his third book

Preeti said...

@hemanth
:D

@PJ
thanks for visiting !!:)

@chriz
YOU kiddin dude? you dunno ISRO? Read your post on Chandrayaan-1 :)

thanks for the warning :)

Praveen said...

hehhee...loved this post..
u selected the right people ..

was particularly touched by the poor mother's plight. That 'sugarcane' comment really is to the point..

I still donnow Y u want to go to moon and live with these morons:D

Black Panther said...

Hey all you people telling he not to go to the moon. Think again :) You know her as a blogger :) and only that :)

Do you want me to pack your bags for you Preeti? Or fill your cylinders with O2? Glad to help :D :D When leaving ? :D :D :D

Kidding of course. And not kidding, spare the moon :) Enough damage done to earth :)

Anonymous said...

What made me feel good about this post was #2...damn those ppl who indulge in such devilish deeds...they dont even deserve a trip to the moon, they need to be fed to the sharks!!
Raj Thacs should be shot in the butt for all the kind of statements that he makes and then shows his (innocent) back when arrested...
Lol...so u didn't listen to me (mistake 1) , then bought the book (mistake 2) and then read it till u disliked it (mistake 3)...now u can write your own 3 mistakes!! (pls dont even go in the vicinity of that book...am still recovering)!! :D And nah...I wont bury ya...who will write just wacky (yet intelligent) posts?? :P
And why u wanna go to the moon? cant you just let go those first 6 types?

Preeti said...

@praveen
thanks for appreciating that point :) i was really disgusted after reading the book :)

@black panther
I dont need your help. thank you very much. SHENI :)

@sree
sharks? good idea.
theek hai. jab mera tann tann dosth itna jikhar kar raha hai, to main teher jaati hoon :)
un 6 logon ko bhej denge :)
cheers buddy :)

Preeti said...

@sree
yaar.. tune to mera dil jeeth liyaa... whacky and intelligent??? whew, koi mere sar ko thaamo :)

Keshi said...

A 'mistake' thats done intentionally cant be a MISTAKE. It's EVIL.

Great post here Preetz!

Keshi.

S said...

U wanna be sent to the moon jus b'coz u read that styupid book, think again..you'd rather wait.. and keep writing in here..

there are far more eligible contenders..
7.The stupid ******** who created this human chain agitation in support of Tamils in Srilanka,bringing the whole of chennai to a standstill last friday,they got poor schoolkids drenched in a downpour that lasted not less than 5 hours.. Linguistically fanatic snobheads that they are..

8.Mr.Goyal of jet airways for staging this precision planned drama of firing just outta coll kids and then reinstating them saying he didn't have the slightest freakin idea that it has happened..and this comparisn of the sacked employees to his daughter.. whatever.. and now asking them to take a paycut...

9.Vijay Mallaya...Kingfisher could sponsor a whole damned team for the IPL,spending crores,and not pay IOCL it's due for Jet fuel purchased, as asks for a financial bailout.WTH.. and Mr.Murali Deora.. u hearing...???? You better else you'll get yourself a one way tkt to the moon.. :P

Will continue to add to the list...

Keshi said...

btw this is one of my fav songs Preetz!

Keshi.

Mana said...

hahahahah.. had a good laugh :D

Gal, you have just read 2 of CB's books. But I've read all 3.

Tara said...

He he he...:) Really funny post! You've chosen some really "good" people to be sent off to the moon! If there's some space left [;D], I'd like to send off all these "reality show" people as well as the "saas bahu" soap people....so that our life is a little better hell! ;P

Well written, really laugh-inducing (! Ummm...I just invented that word! (C)TARA .........he he he ;)

Tara said...

And yes, one request....don't go! Otherwise, who will give us more of these laugh-inducing(!) posts! :D

Preeti said...

@keshi
thanks buddy :) glad you liked the song :)

@S
wowowow, cool list there :) cheers :)

@manasa
then sure you shd come along with me dear !!:)

@tara
hey, not bad.. good choice there :) yeah, want to send rakhi behenji and the likes !!:)
cheers :)

Rià said...

Well i agree with all the selections....wud like to add all the terrorists and ppl like Goerge Bush. But i dont agree with the last one. :) Wht wud we do if u went off to moon!! Wud u blog from there too!? :P

Sruthisagar Yamunan said...

This is the best post that I have read in this blog...

*wipes a tiny tear in the corner of the eyes*

uaauaaaaaaaaaauaaaaaauaaaaa :( :(


and you are right about himesh as well :) :)


One more thing...do you have space for my tax prof in the space ship??

Two tight hugs and a huge smile for this write up!!!

Sruthisagar Yamunan said...

and please remove that I-pod thingie from the blog. It consumes so much internet and I am already past the limit for this month!!! Plzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Preeti said...

@ria
aww thats so sweet of you :) ahh.. I forgot georgie bushie :) he is either a sitting duck or a war monger :) thanks for visiting ria!!:)

@twisted
sure buddy :) shove your tax prof in :) no prob :) and pause the button on the I-pod thingy :) I will not remove it :) atleast songs should look attractive in my blog yaar :) cheers!!

Suresh Kumar said...

Beautiful Post.

Let me c whom can I send to the moon.

My Vote goes to

1. Traitors- I am not talking of traitors of the nation, but traitors of Love.

2. All the song writers who use Moon for comparison. Let them know how the Moon feels.

3. People who didn't allow the singur project.

Mana said...

if you're sponsoring me, why not? :P

Preeti said...

@suresh
thanks for visiting !!:) I agree totally with point #1. true, they don deserve a place here :)

@manasa
sure buddy !!:) we ll go there on a tour :)

Anonymous said...

haha.. came to check ur latest post... it is missing

Phoenix said...

raj thakery was a very worth add to the list... really what is this man thinking?? and the silly idiots who idolize him...damn...

Vignesh C said...

Fantastic post.. After a long time am leaving a comment.. Just ran thru ur posts.. Will comment in detail sooon.. :) ;)

Preeti said...

@chriz
i posted it.. then removed it to the drafts.. it was boring.. now again its here :) chriz asks, preeti does :)

@phoenix
thanks dude :)

@vignesh
welcome here !!:)

Kartz said...

Inimitably Preeti. Period.

Preeti said...

@kartz
am pleased :)