Friday, June 18, 2010

where are the clothes?

So the other day I was in WESTSIDE desperate to buy a kurti. My boss' daughter's marriage was in a couple of days. I just grabbed a few with no green green or pink or yellow or orange on it. Wanted to try at least one from each size as I feel I have grown pretty much horizontally (nowadays, as the sun sleeps till 7 30, preeti follows suit). There was a long queue outside the trial rooms. Pretty much the same size as in ration shops for buying kerosene. Finally after some twenty minutes, I was bum kissing just one lady before me. She tried on one beautiful looking kurti.

She(after coming out of trial room to show her guy/husband/god-knows-who): Kya yeh thik hai? (Is this looking good?).

He: haan, par thoda loose hai (yeah good but little loose).

Trust me there was just enough space for her to move her hands 90 deg to her body more than that then , better watch it babe.Then she tried something more skinny, her tummy threatening to explode any moment (cant blame her, climatic effects of Bangalore). After about seven such dresses she finally chose one. I really wonder if she is still alive , as the dress was holding her breath.
My point is western clothes need not be provocative. You need to radiate dignity and elegance, however dressed you are. People do not realise that there is just a hairline difference between looking sexy and looking vulgar. And if you really want to spend a fortune on such non existent and invisible clothes, you need not go to malls, please come to me.Two hand kerchiefs each worth Rs 10 shall do the job.

err.. by the way did not buy anything for myself. Went to the wedding in uniform :) directly from office. Safe, best and soft on wallet too.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

come on up.. screw somebody !!:)

After having a totally screwed up day at office, I feel awesome. Yeah, you read it right. Am really feeling good. The reason is I am going to release my bottled screwed up feeling onto someone else. A sadistic pleasure gained, but nevertheless, priceless:) Trust me, when you are totally a goner, try passing the fever on. I know radiating positivity is the way of life, but try radiating negativity too, its the fun of life. You certainly gain some relief.
Ok, let me stop digression. This incident took place a couple of days back. Me and Mohan were in BUN WORLD (the black forest cake there is awesome, not tried the buns though). There was a size zero girl nearby Mohan. She had worn knowingly a cute girly pink skin fitting T-shirt and a "neatly laundered jean" (not sure why am calling it a jean, anyways...) and unknowingly she had worn a cute little brown slim equally size zero lizard on her lower left hip. So Mohan noticed it and asked me to tell her about the lizard as if he would tell the latitudinal and longitudinal location of its place, she might take offence.

I called out," Excuse me..."

"You have a lizard on your BUTT", completed Mohan. The girl was muddled whom to tackle first, the lizard butt-kissing her or a total stranger calling out to her butt. She chose to react to the former. I am glad we were out of BUN WORLD without any charges filed.

MORAL: am feeling loads better now by pulling some one's leg in my space. You are down,continue the tradition of leg pulling, author included, she shall take no offence what-so-ever.