2008... I LIVE YOU :):)

Ahhhh, what a year it has been. One of my most active years :) err.. no pun intended okie :).

January to April were the golden days of last few days in college, hostel, All India tour, Tour of friends' home, farewells,night outs and of course final year project :) I wanna time turner :(:( .

I entered this wonderful bloggerville in May. Was very constrained in writing stuff, which is very evident from my first few posts. I can now proudly say with head held high that I have a cool online family out here. HUGS to all :):).

My sister left for boarding school in June. How I hated to live at home without her. Felt the void very badly. Priya, love ya :).

Started preparing for CAT in full josh and hosh in July (I slept off on the morn of CAT 08 and never wrote it, that s a different story :))

August, many of my close friends left for US for higher studies. Missed them like hell, but distance never matters in true relationships right?? :)

September and October were periods of high tension and inactivity, as was out of the cozy cacoon of college, and the world lay ahead in the rawest form. Without a call from WIPRO, with no back up job, only thing lingering was constant uncertainity.But, this phase turned me to a blog addict, and am really thankful for it :)

November got into BHEL. Got my first salary. Took mom to a restaurant, and the moment I gave her my card to swipe for the bill, the expression on her face was priceless. The feel of the first 1000 rupee note in my wallet is exhilarating. My parents dont need my money, not now, not ever, but still, I can die for the feel they get when I buy them small stuff, a call from my sister choked up for buying her things, whew.. am tearing up :):)

December- my grandma breathed her last on my birthday. I felt good that her one and half year long suffering finally came to an end. Though I have relatives at Chennai, I dont feel like going there anymore, dont feel like going to my grandparents home anymore, without her, its not the same and never going to be the same. There are two things you can give for free- advice and care. advice- you dont expect in return. care- you definitely expect some sort of it back. So to all my friends, please bear with my emotional unintelligence, will try to be more expressive :):)I really love you all. Am putting up all my blog awards which mean a lot to me here.Blog Princess by Karthik, Butterfly Blogger Award by Kartz, Richa and Karthik, Birthday wishes by Hemz :):)

So, 2008 has died giving birth to a fresh virgin 2009 :) Happy rocking year to you all. MUAH :):)Hey by the way my new year resolutions- blog more sensible posts :), sleep less, work more and get a guy(s) soon :):) CHEERS :):)
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TAGGED :)

Let me bounce back with a tag by Richa. Am in a very flirty and chirpy mood, so offence (un)intended :)


1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
Sit and curse him for a while, then move on :) Cant kiss the grave being single all my life can I?

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?
I sleep like a log and snore like a pig :) so no dreams of dreaming. But on a hypothetical dream scene, I would like to turn back time to stone age, where people did not wear or wash clothes, no terrorism, no hatred or jealousy in the air.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick!
All my friends who describe their romantic encounters when I am aarrrghhhh... chuck it.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
eeeekss.... I dont need so much money. Not now, not ever.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
What is wrong in loving your friends? friends are to be loved :) and best friends are to be more loved :) If this love means relationship and commitment and serious stuff, NEVER. Because I wanna fall in love with a mature and sensible guy (err.. cant think of any friend who is that way).


6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
World revolves due to love, care, affection. These keep me going even through my blue days. Human tendency is when you get something, you feel like giving back the same or more, not necessarily to the same person. So both are equally blessed, and if its from Preeti , well it becomes divine :):)

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
The question of wait does not arise when the love is expressed to the right person at the right time. I believe in being 'open' with everything :)

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?
Offer a one night stand and propel him to me forever (yeah, I can be a meany meany bitch, but am proud of it).


9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?
Mission politicians bombing. This will root out all problems facing our country.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
A good strong libido :):)

11. I change this question : What I loathe most in people?
Two faced bitchyness (they should understand that if I come to know, I can be a super bitch too).

12. What's your fear?
I have said this umpteen times- darkness, solitude and water (I hate taking bath:))

13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are?
one of my dependable pals, who showers hugs and care always:):) MUAH richa :)

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Married and satisfied :P:P

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
FCUK OFF YOU ALARM

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick?
Let me get one scapegoat first, then will think of two. But I really dont mind more than two too :). The only thing constant in life is change and variety :)

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
If that is 'demanded':P

18. What's eating you now?
What story should I tell mom to escape bath today.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Being single, but forever in LOVE :):)

Enjoyed the tag richa. I tag anyone who's equally flirty today :):)

Happy (belated) Birthday Preeti :):):)

ahhh, cozy December morning of 1986 , 6 42 a.m, 9th day, an extra star rose with the sun and is now shining permanently in Bangy(err.., that is supposed to be poetic, dah, never mind :):)). Yeah Preeti's Birthday :):).

An account of my day and of the four loving and equally hopeless souls as me here who really did make my day :):).

Woke up at 12 am after saying F**K off you alarm, expecting calls :) What happens? No one calls :)!!Just three of them wish me usually a big gang of not less than twenty in a conference :))). HUGS Ini (from mumbai), Shanker (minnesota), Ramya(trichy) and Lak (chennai) :):). The next day morning, still, just four wishes. So what do you expect me to feel? Yeah yeah, Birthday comes every year and not that special a day and stuff.. But again I feel uneasy. So what do I do? Call everyone and get wished:) (Preeti alias shameless and hopeless but proud :))
Later, Revs calls me up and says I had given the wrong number to all my friends :):)
and that mama screwed (err..verbally ok) everyone who called him to wish me :):) Sorry friends.Then I speak non stop on phone till i reach office. No cake cutting and stuff ( somehow I really feel shy to do all that:)). Okay, let me cut the crap and boil down to the four people who made the day Perfect with a capital P :). Dibyayan (Dib), Hashim, Nandita and Pallav :):)
Hashim is the kinda guy whom I can always count on. Ever supportive of all my nonsense, ever protective like a bada bhai ever present and forms the base of my comfort zone. aur bas :) aur mujhse bola nahin jaata :):) and a footnote to girls, my bro is really good looking!!:) and yeah he loves my new haircut (will write about it soon :):))


Pallav, ah, I still remember the first thing he spoke to me "Preeti, you are the one who blogs na? you write well, I ve read them and liked the pictures too". I give a pseudo smile and try to look pleased, see emotions happy sad angry upset cannot be expressed by me at all. I laugh at the wrong time, cry at the wrong place and stuff :) And suddenly when someone comes and tells me that I write well , its as if telling Bush that he is sensible or Himesh Bhai that Kartz is a super hit. Anyways, from then we became friends since he satisfied the crazy to idiotic norms to be my friend :):) (err.. wanna watch dostana part 2 :-come to hash and pal :):) they make a lovely couple :):))



Nandita (Nannu), awww. my rommy friend and Lesbo partner (err.. last one was a joke obviously!!). She grumbles whole evening of Dec 8th saying she didn get me any gift, I monotonically reply saying its all right for the 100th time, then she springs up in the morn with a greeting card and my long obsessed book SHANTARAM, I feel lost for words, not because of the gift, but because she was so caring to each and every word and action of mine. I dont remember telling her its my next book on my to buy list. HUGS hun:):)



Dib : if you find the place relatively silent or a Moorish scent in the air, means he is missing. 206 bones of radiating energy and vigour, a real caring heart, and of course, like me, suffering from freaky levels of insanity. He has a special way of leaving a deep impact within and he really made me feel so special that day. HE took us all for a treat on my birthday evening to pizza corner.
And yeah, he wants to attain great heights in life, being in BHEL and also get started on something apart from work, so friends here, ideas wanted how to start on the journey of an entrepreneur :)HUGS :)

So you fantastic four, remain this way ever, you dont have a choice :):)

Preeti, sensible. emphathetic, intelligent, human !!:)

Well, if you disagree with the title adjectives, read on ... If you agree, then am impressed + shocked + confused as you could identify ME having such qualities :)
OKAY, I am in training period now. Just sharing with you the experiences of HUMAN PROCESS LAB I had last week long. Now when I say lab, there was no chemicals, motors, assignments, tests etc involved. Not even an atmosphere of lab was hinted at. We had the Lab in a
* Three star hotel bedroom, with cozy mattresses and pillows to sit on, from 8 30 am to 5 30 pm
** good free food at the hotel itself :):) (slurp...)
*** in the company of 10 total stranger colleagues, locked up in the presence of a mentor or facilitator.


There was no activity. The mentor came, and sat in our midst and 'processed' us. The task was to just talk about HERE and NOW and not the world outside the room,sans activities like debate or antakshari or any such similar thing.
DAY 1
Formal and courteous glances were exchanged and a brief intro of our variegated cultures and backgrounds. This took on for an hour. Then boredom crept in. Freedom to do anything without any guidance from the mentor who never spoke took shape into frustration.

DAY2
Same place, same set of 10 people, same mentor. Frustration took form of resentment and we took turns to get locked in the bathroom for a comfortable 20 minutes. Full day what exactly should we talk on? what was expected out of us? everything looked muddled and the objective was never understood. So we started trying to talk to the mentor as to what should be done and what to share and how to share. No help again. He simply said talk about HERE and NOW.

DAY3
It comes as a shock and surprise to me as to how the most darkest secrets of an individual could be shared with 10 others, who were just two days familiar. The power of trust of the human mind could be felt. People sought help emotional support and what not for all their problems. This feeling should be experienced and I simply cannot put it in mere words.

DAY4
Since we had become a family in the true sense of the word, laughing and crying and eating together, we started giving both positive and negative feed backs as to how they were and how can they change themselves for a better one to one relationship. There was pride shattered, images redefined, talents explored, skills sharpened and a myriad other transformations.

DAY5
We had certain team building activities and similar stuff on how to be a good listener etc..
Then finally wrapped the whole thing up. Bid adieu to my cozy cocoon, my family in room no 3135 and came out as better individuals :):)

PS: I will check out your posts this weekend for sure. Why I came to blog today is because I was really upset physically (was puking whole day) and mentally (two B****hes spoiled my day) so feeling great now after pouring out something really blissful to me in my space with you people always about(you have no choice, it has to be blissful to you too !!:):) and wanted to add many pictures out here, but somehow, MR Compu fails to listen :):)

I have 'ripped'... come on sip !!;)

From the title, if you are having fantasies of lecherous over dozes, haha gotcha!!:):)

This is yet another random rigmaroles of mine, a feast(!?!?) for all my friends and fans (yeah, the comments on my last post has got me disillusioned :):) and all you silent visitors, HUGS :), this is not a porn site:) to keep your visits secret, just leave a comment saying how my post was-bad worse or worst !!:):) ).

Have a sip of my ripped moments here for past two weeks.

1. You know what I hate more than eating bitter guard or combing my hair???

MEDICAL TESTS. Its a stupid formality which no one in the company will even bother to go through the reports, but then do I have a choice? Ignominy of my skin losing virginity to unknown gleaming hard thrusting needles in a blood test, keeping my brackish water and farces bottled without giving them the least privacy and exhibiting them , wearing a coat into which 100 Preetis can fit in for an XRay, Reading all possible combinations of alphabets in an eye test, letting the stethoscope explore my back and front... Anyways, its all over now thankfully.

2. Long live the power crisis!!:) yeah I have been provided with an electric stove, and since the power is never there, I hog out, hence saving me from my own cooking !!:)

3. I am in the company of fiver other people, three guys and two girls, one of the girls, Nanditha, qualifies as my friend, having all qualities from crazy to idiotic :). The other one is ok, a pure veggie, and has an infected brain which cannot distinguish between the aroma of potatoes and chicken fry, and we have to tell her its only potato, so that she does not die of her handkerchief pressed to her nose + mouth!!:)

4. The most deathly and destructive weapon is LOVE. No I am not suffering for the want of it, but I have it in excess. Am living with a Bengali family, who force me to eat with them, and my digestive system is really stubborn to work with their mustard oil and too much of turmeric in their victuals. I dont like people pampering me. Privacy to me is not leaving me alone in my personal issues (err..I dont have any as such:)) , but others keeping me out of their private lives . Hmph...

5. Apart from his cute round head and swayed brown colour, I love OBAMA for everything!!:) Something tells me it will be a non Bushy US from now.

6. I am supposed to be CATting now, but am BLOGging :). Did not take CAT this time. Dont ask me why. I ll tell you when I get to know why. Chennai, I promise I ll see you soon enough.

7. My childhood friend is getting married this November 30th, in this age of Internet and stuff, I still am in touch with her through inland letters. All of you wish her the best in life :):)

8. I don't like browsing centers much, they look dingy and creepy, even now the female next to me is staring at my window (sigh..the nuances of being a writer !!:)!:) ) . Will crap more often once I get a cubicle at office, now in training in seminar hall whole day listening to lectures, and somehow trying to learn the art of balancing my chin on palm eve in deep slumber:(:(

9. I have always viewed fridge as a mortuary but now, i really miss cold coffee, chill water and apples :(:(

10. I love and miss all of you and will catch up on your posts soon enough :):) HUGS !!:)

Au Revoir...

My bags are packed. Tickets reserved. Good wishes and blessings from all over lavishly showered. Just that I have to start. New job. New place. New people. New everything.Every end has a new beginning. This is the end, beginning awaits me. It has been a wonderful journey here, leaving footprints on the memories of my sands of time. This space has crept into my circle of 'family'. I started this space as a means to kill time and improve my ahem.. writing talents!!!(yeah, stop sniggering at the latter half now). In the process , got life time friends here as an unexpected bonus (err...hoping to improve writing talents too).

Now How can I leave then?? IMPOSSIBLE :):) I am to this blog and you all as I am to coffee and smileys, indispensable parts of my identity.. Just that my crapping frequency MIGHT reduce (remember 'might' dont have high hopes yet :)). I hate good byes and farewell talks. So , just saying Au Revoir, until we meet again... Dont you dare not to miss me, I promise to catch up soon on all your posts :) HUGS :):)

Here are a few lines of the current track for you,

as we go on..

we remember

all the times we've

had together

that s the last change

come what ever

we will still be

friends forever :):)

lalalala lal lalala

lalala lala

la lala lala

friends forever!!

PS: Wish me luck :)

PPS: This song is dedicated to ALL my crazy chirpy fuzzy whizzy supersonic and idiotic friends !!:)

PPPS: Didnt use my precious and sensible thoughts much for this post. The words came in a flash and click, down here:). So just bear with its bits and pieces.

A Fine Balance Indeed

I fell in love again (click here to know about my first love). This time it is Rohinton Mistry's A Fine Balance. I totally surrender to such a towering masterpiece creator. From the cover page, which shows a 10 foot long vertical pole with a horizontal crossbow 9 foot from the ground, onto which a little five year old girl perches, her hand outstretched skyward and the pole sways precariously, being supported by nothing more than a man's thumb, a fine balance continues till the very end.

The introduction reads
Holding this book in your hand, sinking back in your soft armchair, you will say to yourself: perhaps it will amuse me. And after you have read this story of great misfortunes, you will no doubt dine well, blaming the author for your own insensitivity, accusing him of wild exaggeration and flights of fancy. But rest assured: this tragedy is not a fiction. All is true.

Mistry has stuck to his word to the dot. The 614 pages throw light on the realities of intricate lives of four people, Dina Dalal (a widow) , two cobbler turned tailors (Ishwar and Om) and a college student (Maneck), who struggle under the Emergency Regime during 1975. The things these four have in common are dignity, self-respect to live on their own and shut out mercy and sympathy, dregs of humanity which otherwise lost its meaning during those dark bleak days,a caring heart and of course inseparable poverty. I turned every single page saying, yeah life will get less complex, their checkered fates will change, things will be restored with smiles and hugs finally like in the usual movies and sitcoms, but was miserably wrong and ended up wetting my cheeks ( last time I had watered sockets was after seeing Sadma (Hindi) or Moondram Pirai (Tamil) , ten years back). This book also re frames the good old adages to Truth never Triumphs, What you sow is never what you reap, Honesty is not the best policy, Jaisi karni waisi nahin bharni. I wont call it pessimism but the simple fact of LIFE elucidated with a fine balance of love, honour, ego, sarcasm, laughter, hunger, anger, suspense,uncertainty and revenge.

When Dina gets to know of the fatal accident that killed her husband due for dinner , the dignity and poise with which she handled herself is extraordinary for words. All she said was that his food was still there, and that it should be given to the beggars in the corner of the street.

How the birth of daughters in upper castes and sons in lower castes brought upon beatings to the bearer and the child by the male chauvinists of the upper castes is a heart aching read.

A very nice thought saying " human face has limited space, if you fill the space with laughter , there wont be room for crying".

An irony dipped in humour when a quack tries to sell Potency Potions with the cries " Does it stand but not straight enough? is there a bend in the tool? Leaning left like the Marxist-Leninist party? To the right like the Jan Sangh fascists? Or wobbling mindlessly like the Congress party? Fear not for it can be straightened! Try my ointment and it will become hard as the government's heart!"

A crippled Shankar, who crawls along pavements collecting alms is one person with whom you cannot empathize. Not because you have an iron heart towards beggars, but because he never lets sympathy creep into you. He is a character blessed with a great sense of humour, optimism and helping tendency, notwithstanding the God's blessed physical impediment.



There are a few censorious parts in the book, where the fine hair line difference between love and lust is lost, the beautiful feeling is messed up conveying just Strip... Bang...Whewww..making you mindlessly flip through, albeit return after a while, to make sure you did not miss on something read worthy.


I have spent six sleepless nights now on this, not that I am a slow reader, but because I could not bring myself up to gulp down its magic and essence quicker than six nights. Brilliant English in which there is yet again, a fine balance of rich vocabulary not compromising on emotions that tumble down like a smooth waterfall. It is shortlisted for the Booker prize and I vote for it. I am not a good reviewer of books, this is my mediocre yet sincere attempt.This review made me buy the book and read it till the end. This is a must read for all those who breathe good books and also have the fire to become a writer. I warn you again, this is not a light read but truth in the crudest form which slaps you left right left.
To conclude, Rohinton Mistry -I SALUTE YOU

oneirophobia :)

Once you see the title, you should have fallen in either of the following categories:
1.it is fear of something , let me read ahead...
2. wow, this girl has got a swarming vocabulary (sigh!! wish it were true, I encyclopedia-ed the title word :) )
3. this should be again one of her useless posts, let me raffa daffa ho from this page soon (blessed soul, suit yourself, I wont say you are wrong though:))
4. this should be one of her useless posts , but do I have a choice? Since I am her friend, If not me, who else ?( thanks buddy(ies), love you ever :))


This post is dedicated to a real disturbed friend of mine, in the US, who has new found things like freedom from the watchful and tale carrying Indian society (yes offence intended!!), escape from buzzing neighbours and relatives, solace in getting to breathe in buses and never waiting for eternity in ticket counters, not being able to hear words like 'traffic' and 'pollution' and so on .. But yet, he is not able to enjoy life ... Since he is already disturbed, let me not flaunt of what we have here like good spicy round the clock food (both at home and outside), non-alien looking and speaking people, 24 hours of time which is left to our disposal and not having to dread every second that we are half a second behind schedule for the meeting 2.15 hours and 12 secs from now :), masala puri with friends in beaches, freedom to walk in middle of the road in heavy traffic and flaunting about our Dexter-dodging skills to good looking onlookers and so on and on and on... . Oops sorry mate . India rocks.

Okay, let me come to the point (finally). He has caught the fear of dreams. I am nonplussed as to how to help him regarding this since:
1. I never dream (Sigh!! Kalam Uncle, sorry, I am not a future scientist of India :) ).
2. I never have any long unfulfilled desire to come in my dreams.( because sometimes it takes eons to get fulfilled that I forget about it altogether :))
3. I am the most inartistic and unimaginative person on earth that I cant even draw pictures in the dream.

But I could help in my own special way, will put up his dreams here, so that you guys can help him :):) (yeah, he does read my blog!!)

So Jumbili ( ha.. example of my creativity :)) calls me from US when I am sleeping like an angel *bragging butt smile*and:

Jumbili: Hi ma, what are you doing?

Me: I was zzzstudying online about zzzzshares and zzzstuff in one eye, and taking up an online mock test with the other:)

Jumbili: Oh. Should have known you sleep for four hrs in the afternoon and ten hours at night cha. Anyways, called to say am really disturbed.

Me: Hoping it was some chick- problem and feeling proud that he had called me of all people for counselling and gyan, I chucked the sleep outta my eyes, and tried to focus. Yeah, tell me, am up.

Jumbili: I am having weird dreams. I was riding on a magnificent looking black horse, embodiment of pulchritude and agility, in a dense forest, in moon light. He was a mind reader, reading all my unuttered directions,I just have to think Turn left turn right go straight and stuff. I asked him to turn right after a while. He just twitched his right ear. I again asked him to turn right. He turn his head right. I got so used to his promptness that this sudden mood swing from him got me twitchy and I shouted at him TURN RIGHT , which was such a bad thing to do. In return, he bit me THERE :(:( I buckled up in pain. I can still feel it.

Me: getting visions that he should be really thinking of his THING very often to get it in his dream. And with a horse??ok shut up Preeti, you are hopeless. Ok Jumbili, dont worry, you are fine(and so is your...), just a bad dream. Goodnight, sleep and let sleep :)

Jumbili calls me again today and:

Jumbili: Hi Pre, I had a dream again today. Even you came, we were in a forest (owww.. get out of a forest will ya?) there was a bear looking hungrily at us. My mother had taught me that, on confrontation with a bear, we should act as though dead (sigh, my mother never did! probably, she thought I had some bellicose blood in me, and thought would have come out of the bear menace, sans this fact). But you were breathing and showed us up. It was about to kill us when I woke up and called you (was so tempted to tell him, never to sleep to avoid dreams, but restrained myself with great difficulty as he was sounding genuinely bitter and upset).

ME: Dont worry , I will put an end to this. (more outta selfishness, as this was the second sleep I was shaken out of in two days). Check my blog in a day.

Okay, so guys and girls, my job ends here. I want you people to tell me now, how to cure him of this oneirophobia :):) Cheers!!

Visalam maami !!!

This is a looooooong post :):) think twice before marching southward !!!

It is excellent to be born a yin, having all the parts functional, perfection personified.

It very good to be bred in a Tamil Brahmin family whose members are 180 degrees antiphase with words like orthodox, antiquated doctrines and principles.

It is good to have parents I have wondered many a times as to how two absolutely contrasting personalities gel so well in harmony who have never inculcated the thoughts of arranged marriage sigh they should be knowing from my birth that bridal procedures for me will be a pain!! nor stressed me that I should marry a guy only from my caste sure they will be more than happy so long as its a guy :), that is what they keep telling me, and err.. I have lived upto their expectations :). They have always nurtured the thoughts of preaching the religion of LOVE amma and appa, I love you.




It is not so good live in a society breeding laser beamed outlooks.

It is bad to have a 55+ yr old lady living close by, who has completed her duty of marrying off her children, who has retired from a job and has an over belching bank balance, and is now absolutely free , having 24 hours rusting at her disposal.


It is worse if it is Visalam maami .


It is worser when my amma likes visalam maami whom I detest the most and always behaves politely to her yeah, my genes dont match hers when it comes to visalam maami


Scene 1 : morning 8 I will be a citizen of dreamland then when maami launches her first visit, wearing a pseudo friendly grin

Maami : Endi Meena, konjam kaapi podi kududimma. Avar daily naalu kaapi kudikiraar. seekrame theendhu poidardhu lend me some coffee powder, my husband takes four coffees a day, so running low on it .

Amma: sure maami, please sit down.
I dont have anything against this. After all, just coffee powder na. Then she looks into my room. I pretend to be continuing sleeping, trying to make my sleep postures look more elegant and not like a hippo wallowing in marsh water. She starts the purpose of her visit. Starts her rattle.

Maami: Meena, tcha tcha tcha. Why does Preeti sleep so late? Sun is up and not good for girls to sleep with sun maami, I fantasize sleeping with better... ahem.. forget it :).

Amma: tries to cover up and flops miserably She gets up soon everyday maami. Just that she is tired just today.


Maami: What ever, you should be more strict with her. Else she ll grow up a spoiled brat and stain the family name and we wont be able to show our faces to anyone and end up in blasphemous words from others . dah.. all this shit for JUST sleeping (not having oral sex!!!) in MY home, MY room, MY bed

Amma: seri maami. Maama will be waiting for his coffee. You better hurry up mom I love you for this :)


Scene 2 : twelve noon lunch time visalam maami home for lunch as her husband on some guest lecture, and my amma called her over obviously without my consent so that maami need not trouble cooking for a single person

Maami: sambhar is a bit too sour, rasam is salty, potatoes are fine, though should be half a cm cut finer, yogurt is a little more thicker than the ideal lactometer reading
Want to know the living example of partiality personification, meet my mother.Had I said even half of all this, I would have had the time of my life...would have been so starved that even the kids in deserts of Africa would have won an arm fight with me... sigh..wish I were visalam maami for once...

Amma: sorry maami, will be careful henceforth. AMMA... enough is enough.
I crack a papad with both hands and put the piece in my left hand into my mouth visalam maami gives me a filthy look, as though I relishing a bite on a live cockroach.

Maami : endi Preeti, you dont get up early, you dont help amma in her chores little does she know that amma loves it when I dont help, and feels more than happy when I am never in the vicinity of kitchen and above all you use two hands while eating. What sort of a Tam Brahm you are? yeah, I roam about with a caste tag around

Me: as usual pretending to be deaf and dumb am sure if doordarshan ppl see this, the news job is mine.

Maami: starts her rant about how today's youth are spoilt and rotten like five day old bananas.

Me: turn on the tv and watch zara zara touch me touch me touch me... man... Bips and Kat together... what more can life give you?

Maami: continues her R A N T about half dressed bolly hottie girls, but watches the tv nevertheless.

Amma: watches on helplessly, hoping for the luncheon to get over soon

If you think all this made her have a leash on her appetite, BINGO, you are wrong :) she carries home a fat silver foil wrapped with delicious food for the night for the couple :):)

Scene 3:evening 5 pm

Maami: wow Meena you got wonderful jasmine flowers in your garden. Let me take them home, string them up and give you and your beautiful daughter.

Amma: Preeti does not like plucking flowers maami, she says they look good on plants and not fair to reduce their life span by a day. Anyways, you can take them for yourself if you like. Gotcha!! that is my cooked up reason, actually I dont like the smell of jasmine, and the look of it sticking out of my head, like little white headlights on a black backdrop

Maami: gives amma tips on how to raise children wonderfully and flower-likingly like her

Then appa comes home and am on cloud nine. This means maami wont come till he leaves for office next morning :)

Your Attention Please ISRO!!!

Dear ISRO,
First of all my hearty congratulations to all your wonderful scientists for making Chandrayaan-1 a dream come true, the first ever of its kind. What makes me more happy is that the unfathomable feat was accomplished using only 4% of the allotted budget for the project. That is something to be marvelled at. Now that you have so much money in your kitty, I request you to make one more trip along with the following people and giving them a one-way-ticket to the moon. I do not need them here, not now, not ever :)


1. Raj Thackeray and the likes, who spread the language of goonda gardhi in the name of upholding religion. I know there is not least of grace and humanism present in you, but would really appreciate if you go and bury yourself in the craters of the moon, never ever returning to daub our abode. You (try to) rest in peace, am sure once you are gone with your followers , we surely will :) so ADIEU :):)

2. All the debauch men present who cannot control their sexual crusades. I am telling this with utmost dignity embalmed with fury, do not play with the innocent children, their helplessness and physical inability to fight you. Try to have the dregs of altruism and go to people who are in the profession, catering your needs (not by choice or accord, nevertheless). You should be punished with nothing less than a painful and ever lasting castration.

3. All the University thieves in the facade of answer script evaluators. You dont have the sense to evaluate papers correctly the first time, then ask the poor students to shell out 700 bucks for a single paper to be re-evaluated (for many families losing 700 bucks is ten days of sleeping with wet loin on abdomen) and then, like magic, the marks are increased by 40-50 upon hundred. What is the deal? You dont deserve to be here. Bump your heads on the trenches on moon and let us see if that knocks some sense into your piggy heads.

4. Not breaching trust is like walking on a tight rope over the Pacific, which needs meticulous balance lest we should fall, never to be redeemed again. So all you politicians who play with peoples' trust, good bye forever.

5. Was in Annai Illam (Mother's abode) a few months back. It is a home for the deserted and aged parents, who have been deprived of their property, pride, dignity, love, faith and thrown there, with nothing but a soul with incessant prayers to god to call them soon. Met a judge's wife (65 yr old). She said her son was really magnanimous, even after marriage. After Judge uncle's demise, her son gave her a separate room with attached bathroom, air conditioner, television and all the latest magazines. Food was delivered promptly by the ayyah into her room. The only condition was that she should never ever leave her room, come what may. To the son- Who wants to live a life of luxury? This is not the real comfort to your mother. Get that into your henpecked brains. She needs you by her side to speak to, your children to play with, your wife to ask her doubts while cooking, share family matters, involve her in a evening light meal talks, your attention, your TIME, your LOVE and not your latest gadgets.
Why do some children treat parents like sugarcane? extracting all the juice, sweetness and thirst quenching elixir over and over again, then throwing away the remnants?Good bye to you too. Meet the likes of you at moon and rot there forever.

6. On the lighter side, I want to send Himesh miya for 'acting' in karzzz (a curse). Dude, if you promise to stick to nasal singing, and bid adieu to malodorous acting, I'll tell ISRO to fetch you back!!:)

7. Last of all, ME :)

Sometimes, I tend to commit mistakes, knowing fully well, they are mistakes. The need to put head into the gutter knowing fully well of its contents. Yeah please send me to the moon, for spending a 100 bucks and reading one night @ the call centre. Sree, if you are reading this, I know you'll bury me alive :) But believe me, the book was pathetic. Bhagat Bhai, you cheated me. I expected lots from you after five point someone. Will not read three mistakes of my life, and commit my second mistake!!:)

Thanks in advance ISRO :):)


P S :-Feel free to add the kinda people you wanna pack off to the moon :)