Friday, August 22, 2008

marriage rituals

DISCLAIMER: People with strong and vehement antiquated notions, keep off this :)

I love marriages for FOOD, vetti vambu and nice sight seeing, ladies at their best and gents trying to cope up with their counterparts and look winsome :)

But when it comes to rituals, i seriously don't understand the whole point behind so much fuss over nothing at all.

1. It all starts with a function called VERADHAM The bride, groom and their parents gotta starve whole morning, and keep on chanting ranting chanting wat ever the iyer mama says ( the iyer mama will have endless cups of juice, payaasam etc). Then the iyer mamas eat to their tummy full, after which only the bride and groom gotta eat. poor souls. Definitely i wont have this when i get married :) no compromise on food.

2.Then comes MAAPILAI AZHAIPPUThe bride's people have to wait and wait till the groom's people arrive at the hall, then treat them as though its God incarnation that has arrived and then the groom goes on a tour of the locality in a ota car, the whole point is, when he roams about in an open car, if someone who sees the groom and recognises him to be fraudulent or something, the marriage can be stopped it seems:) The groom is exhibited in the dim evening light by seven , where no one can see properly, and mostly today's grooms are NRIs dunno how he can be recognised as a bad person in the agrahaaram :) No such thing is done for the Bride:)

3.Tats it for the day. Next day early morning is KAASI YATHRAIThe groom says he wants to attain sanyasam and wants to get settled at Kasi, the holy place in India and starts off with an umbrella and slippers( both gifted by the bride's parents). The bride's father, irrespective of his age, falls at the feet of the groom and says he can have his daughter's hand in marriage and need not attain sanyasin. Then washes the groom's feet on a silver plate. I simply dont understand the whole point behind this. Why cant the groom's father do the same to the girl??

4.KANYAA DHAANAMHere the bride has to sit on her father's lap and the groom ties the thaali. A mother is one who introduces light ,after resting in the darkness in her womb for ten months,sacrifices herself for the growth of the child,at every stage, shares the feelings of an adolescent kid more than a father, but unfortunately, she has no role to play in the marriage, except rendering hospitality to the groom's family and guests. Why cant we create a revolution by sitting on mother's lap during kanyaa dhaanam??

5.RECEPTIONUnder the heavy weight of maalai for four to five hours, and artificially posing for photos with everyone present again for four to five hrs, you definitely will flop into bed having no time for anything else :)

Marriages should be a confluence of two minds, amidst a very closed circle of friends and relatives, without much huccus and ballyhoo.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Very very true....i agree with u hands down...seriously...all these rituals are just crap...when will our ppl understand tat marriage is between two individuals who wish to live together for the rest of their lives!!!y make a mountain out of a mole hill...let them just be happy...n not bore them with our dumb rituals...

Krish Prasad said...

bride is made to sit on fathers lap may b bcoz nowadays they(brides) put on excess weight tat mothers cannot bear... :)

preethi said...

i had seen these tortures for my sisters.. Your words remember them a lot to me.. Hope this tortures will be reduced in future!!!!

Matangi Mawley said...

:) i always get a "watching a bali aadu" feeling whnevr i attend a wedding ceremony! very well written!

Preeti said...

@ viju
hey your spinster days are numbered dudette :)
@krish
mothers too are no less :)
@preethi
yup preethi.. we'll keep our fingers crossed
@matangi
thanks matangi :)

Unknown said...

i couldnt agree with u more on how irrelevant these rituals have become...the really sad part being that stupid falling on the feet part(though somehow i have nvr heard/seen it the number of marriages i have attended)

p.s what to do mean by "anything else"...:)

Preeti said...

@ram
i seriously cant believe you ve agreed with me for once :) thanks dude:) and you should ve been dreaming during that falling at the feet part :P They really make it very obvious. and ahem, "anything else", you are free to imagine anything :)

Unknown said...

i think it differs community wise...