mixture of emotions...

1. I am forcing myself to blog because I Feel the wind knocked out of me. My friend's father breathed his last. I am so cut off from people and civil life that I forgot to give her my new mobile number and didn check her mail to me also. Got to know the news after a week. Bathed in guilt as I could not be with her when she needed me. Padma, Please forgive me. Uncle means a lot to us. Sincerely praying for his soul to rest in peace.

2. Is it really possible to get so close to people that getting apart from them literally bleeds your heart? Knowing fully well we are not destined to be together forever since the only similarity being different paths? Sometimes, companionship does hurt a lot and solitude mocks at your face saying she won finally and that you ultimately run towards her. All that is left with you are a few wet tissues, sleepless nights and eternal memories.

3. On the sunny side up, I saved a fish the other day. I was hanging clothes outside and thanks to the continual showers that our cricket ground now became the abode of myriad aquatics. I saw a fish struggle for life inside our compound floor and despite her thorns and her slippery self, put her back home. Rightly said, big things come in small packages.

4. Mr Fate brings you so much happiness that you dread the next moment. I was hunting for a book like crazy sometime back and casually told my two friends am yet to find it. One of them got it through e-bay and the other got it couriered from some corner in Mumbai. Though its a book, the emotions linked are priceless and I am left with so much goodness to know people care so much.

5. Missing my sister very very much. She is in a boarding school and allowed only one phone call a week which she uses to speak to amma. When some week she calls me instead of amma, I am stuck up with my boss or with customers. What life is this when you cant devote meagre time who mean the world to you? I sometimes sit and ask myself if I am doing justice to the people around me... Yet to find an answer.

6. Sometimes, I lie to my heart. I choose to be happy, I choose to close my eyes to the paranoid things around, I choose to sleep when I am supposed to act, I choose to stay passive when am expected to guide, I choose to say 'time will heal' when I know 'now' is also time.

7. There rages a war between professional and emotional decisions. Again, I leave the call to time without much brooding.

8. Keshi, sorry for missing your Birthday. Hope you understand. XOXO. Wishing you the best of best ever in life. Smiles and cheers always :)