It all started with a headache after office yesterday. Little did I know that a normal headache could leave such a deep impact upon me. Little did I know that the headache was an effect of unknown emotional turmoil in my subconscious mind. I cried. Cried is too ordinary a word. I poured out from deep within. Till 2 am. My cheeks had dry tears. Pillow was wet. I still do not have an iota of a clue as to why I am in so much pain. I can still feel it. I have a shield around me. Nothing/No one can break into it. I am strong. I am sensible. Then why did such a thing happen? I am confused. Shaken. Shocked at the revelation of a weakling within me. Scared at the thought of ignorance of the cause of such anguish. Does a different Preeti exist? I don’t need warm words. I don’t need sympathy. I don’t need “don’t worry, things are fine” stuff. Because I know things are not okay. Something is wrong, whose magnitude is grouching behind a black veil. I feel I should shun this off as a bad dream/vision. But I cant as it is still fresh in my mind. I need clarity. .I need the real ME back..
15 comments:
Preeti,
In a strom a supple tree survives but one which is hard gets uprooted. One needs to have flexibility in approach to life, of course not at the cost of basic principles but even under certain circumstances one may need to be supple even in principles. If you wish you may share as to what was it which made your inner turmoil. May be I could offer some options.
Take care
@Jack
That is the problem. I truly dont know what has upset me so much. I was all of a sudden flooded with negativity and it just became cumulative that I could not handle. This is my family. Had I known the reason , would have definitely shared. That is worrying me more. I still do not know WHY...it may sound strange , but its the fact.
Preeti,
It does happen at times that you get this kind of feeling. Try to go over the events of the day and you may be able to pin point factor which was catalytic in this.
Take care
if u dont see a reason, tht cos there is no reason pretty. dont hurt urself searching for one. all we have is one life. feelings need to be expressed, eiter thru laugh or thru tears. m sure, not many wud laugh out their wits and then later spend more time on thinking why they laughed. so let it go. we ll see to it wen we "it" show the guts to face you. till then hold on and njoi this small life. ur display pic tells tht u deserve the smile. soo all u need to do is live ur presence. talk. smile. the rest wud take care of itself.
@sawan
thanks buddy :) am reptty much back to my 'normal' standards now :):) so watch out !!:)
Preeti..Don let everything inside your heart..IT will jus cause Emotional turmoil.Pour your heart to someone who you are close too..Or jus cry to your Favorite god..If you dont feel comfortable with any Individuals..It will certainly make you feel Better..
And Don't lose yourself..Preeti you're too precious to lose for whatever the matter is.
To find the reasons for everything would be amazing but it would just waste ur time :)
This song might not help you but it is pretty much the theme of your post
For Reasons Unknown - The Killers
:p
PREETI :
I have done your Honest Tag.
Take care
Tears and blogs on tears will help u in feeling light.
Take good care of urself.
@CD
true.. am ok now deaire..
@srini
thanks for dropping by :) I love tat song too..
@chandrika
welcome to my page.. Have blogrolled you.. visited your blog and liked it :)
All you need...is a boyfriend!! ;) V-day is nearing na...so the unknown pain!! :P
PS: I dont know how to sympathize!! I believe in showing the tallest finger on my hand to such situations! ;)
just keep the smile preetz everything will be alright :)..
urs..hemu..
Ha ha ha! :) U've got loads of advice for ur post except one or two! :) These things just happen.. Cheers! :)
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