I just have to write because I feel like...

Anger

frustration

disturbance

disgust

weakness

helplessness

fear

irritation

hatred

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.

.

.

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What do I do if I get all these feelings at once? This is the conversation that took place between me and a security personnel, at the gate some few meters in front of our site office:

He: oye oye oye

Me: (used to such calls from sexually starved men, turned a cold shoulder as usual, not to blame them totally as I am the only yin among 2000 yang)

He: hello hello madam..

Me: madam, this word made me go back to him. Yes?

He: aap kahan kaam kar rahen hain? (where do you work).

Me: XYZ

He: aap ab kahan jaa rahen hain? (where are you going now?)

Me: site office

He; XYZ ka office udhar nahin hain. sach bolo kahan jaa rahi ho? (there s no site office there. tell me the truth as to where you are going).

and here the 'you' changed from plural to singular( this is one point where I love the English language, you dont have to bother whether the person is calling you the singular you or the plural one, it doesnt even matter). This reflected many things like he had an element of doubt regarding my basic character.No, this is not my figment of imagination, there is no circuited reason- I am a Sagittarian, and I cant imagine.Simple as that. I cannot describe the tone with which he asked and sent goose flesh on my skin. I felt so humiliated. Unless you be Me I am sure its tough to feel the magnitude of the issue. But I hope this is making some sense atleast. I mean hope you get the point and intensity of the words uttered by him.I agree, a security personnel's job is to ensure safety to company's property and check everyone's identity. Not talk like a third rated person, who cannot identify the person who's been working at site for a month continuously now. This is not yet another save women rant, never shall i vouch for such feelings, but yeah, I expect people to respect me, as a person, as a human, as an Engineer and at last, as a Woman.I gave a cold look and kept walking saying " get elite, XYZ office has been there for the past one year, unless you have shifted it overnight".

Somehow, I am still disturbed. Why ME?

Preeti, the serial kisser :x

Christopher. Completed 15 revolutions round the sun. Tall for his age. Elegant Tan. Bright eyes. Porcupine hair. Breathed Maths. Imbibed Physics. Photographic memory. One complex equation he never understood was :how the human mind works. Facial expressions bore no meaning to him. He was a neural controlled network and the terms 'feelings' 'emotions' 'eye-talk' were out of his scope of syllabus. This attracted me to him. He never lied. Though sometimes, he white-lied (hiding certain facts which does not quantify as lies, like when your mom asks "what are you doing?" you in turn respond saying" I am sleeping" which is also true even without the latter part of the sentence disclosing your err..companion(s).. hope the term white-lie is perfectly clear now :P). So where was I? Yeah.. Chris. One sad morning he found his neighbor’s dog dead. Rather killed. With a garden fork. Someone murdering a dog?? rather tweedy. More tweedy was Chris went to the dregs of the issue to find the murderer and suitably punish him (yeah.. he also composed an elegy for the death of the dog).
So its all about how he finds the culprit, discovers someone near to him is actually alive and not dead as believed and portrayed by all, how he travels all alone a 1000 miles in search of someone, how he actually loves someone whom he hated and hates someone whom he loved, how he maintains distant proximity with someone and stuff like that..
Guess its all soupy now.. to make things clear, read THE CUROIUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT TIME by MARK HADDON. Now what has the title got to do with this book review? Well, the author has to attract readers for book reviews till the end na.. So gotcha glued (I hope so). And yeah, I white lied too :). I did kiss the book !!:) Any day, given an option between a good book and sex, Preeti solemnly swears to chose the former (err.. no white lies here :):))

HAPPY DIWALI (atleast) to you :/

CAUTION: Rant ahead , with a footnote of Diwali wish (author shamelessly admits the wish is a formality, just typed out and not from her heart).
So, here I am stuck for Diwali in an alien land, infested with contractor and customer shouting into each ear ( thank god for just two ears), without family, without friends ( just a couple of colleagues who got no other choice but to befriend me as they are also lonely souls out here). No crackers, no amma's food, no meeting sister even after six long months, no seeing he ayyan pattasu ad every fifteen minutes, no temple (no regrets there though) and just having loneliness to accompany my shadow which is also full of empty. Let me talk about one good thing of not being at home for Diwali.. No OIL BATH. I shudder at the very thought of that. I am a proud hydrophobic and it really takes a toll on me to scrub myself oil free and my mother will put so much oil on my cute little head that a whole ravenous bunch of 50 people can fry papads and eat for a month (no exaggeration). There should be some statement in kumudham or anantha vikatan ( amma's bible, though the first rank between the two books keeps swapping, in direct proportion to "true" and "unbelievable" facts in them) that applying hair oil leads to cholesterol or something equally sensible (remember this author always talks sense :)).
And the worst part is when I get a call from L and she says:
L: Hey vetti, so having fun at site na? We software people are so busy and life does not give time to breathe.
Me: L, I am with customer, can I get back?
L: I am free on two days before and after Diwali re.. call me then. Good you are in a public sector. You will get so much time for yourself.
Me(getting so aarrrgghhh like when Mallika Sherawat is asked to wear clothes): Please L, its been ages since I forgot what time means, forget for oneself.
L: Yeah I know you always want for more. Remember what you always say,"man is the peculiar of all, who always wants for what is not".
Me; L, shut the gyan up before I freak out.. chal bye.
L: ok ok nautanki.. buh bye
But she is so busy that she ultimately hangs the phone up only after fifteen minutes, when I have already put the phone in my pocket and doing my work. Dah.. do software people love monologues???
Anyways, cutting the crap and rant, I wish you all a very Happy Diwali :):) Enjoy have fun and dont hog too much.. Remember there's this malnourished kid in Bhilai :(:(:(