mixed up :)

So I was in Bangalore yesterday, shopping for Diwali.Being a full fledged foodie as already said in my previous posts, I was in one of the newly opened super markets. Ambiance was great, there were ladies (yeah droolable ones, but would have looked better sans the "rakhi sawant ishtyle" lipstick :)) with haldi kumkum in their hands to welcome customers. More than ready directors who eagerly took care of our needs in every section and helped us locate what we needed, saving us the effort of gliding through the frictionless polished marble floor.My mom and I were assisted by one Mr. E(short for enthusiastic guy).

I love jam, any flavour, and would always feel more than happy to taste any new entrants. The conversation went like this (mom was busy checking out offers and freebies in another section)between Mr.E and me:

Mr.E : Hello Madam, how may I help you?

Me : was grinning from ear to ear for being addressed as 'Madam'. Respect never hurts man :) Err.. hi.. was just checking out new flavours in jams.

Mr.E: who was looking down until now as though he was searching for a lost 500-rupee note, suddenly looked up and gave a not-so-okay look. Then gave a sly smile. We just had chocolate flavour jam yesterday madam. New entry in our store. Try it. And do give us your feedback.

Me: I have never been asked for feedback except at college to lie about the wonderful teaching of our professors in the feedback form so I happily nodded my head already tasting choco jam mentally :) Please put it in the basket sir and send it for billing. I'll go catch up with my mom.

Mr.E: still with the same sly smile OK madam, happy to help.

I go away, suspecting nothing, and wait with mom by my side for the billing counter to pack us off soon. Guess what I find in the place of Jam..
A box of cookies ....
No
A Cadbury's Celebrations family pack...
No
A teddy bear ( chocolate colour)
No
come on.. guess...




A BOX OF CONDOMS!!!!!( yeah, err..I suppose chocolate flavour :D).How on earth am I supposed to know that the shop used the code word "jam" for "condoms" ( now dont ask me the connection between the two, if you got any clue, let me know). My mom was aghast and asked "Pre, why do YOU need this? ",(giving me a you-need-more -knowledge-about-eighth-standard-biology-look) . I tried to look less stupid and more mature (I tell you I felt like a combination of George Bush and Mr.Beans on a holiday with Mamta)and explained what actually happened. We both laughed it off later, and asked the super market people to be more careful with their code words. People in search of condoms will obviously help themselves and not be so tawdry about it like me. Another point,not all mothers will be casual, and not all people will ward this off lightly with a sense of humour :).

Yay Yay Yay!!! my sister is home for Diwali. Family of four together for Diwali after four years (all four are in India, South India, just that it never clicked).Will have real fun. You guys and girls also have a super Diwali with family and friends (the ones in US dont worry, have virtual fun!!!)and yeah play safe( err.. with the crackers of course)!!!

A glimpse on Murphy

For all those who are not familiar with Mr Murphy, let me tell you murphology gives the basic idea of sustenance in the cosmos-"if anything can go wrong, it will". I picked up the book, fumbled through a few pages and here are a few interesting laws :

1.Bell's Theorem When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings, or door bell screeches.
Well nowadays we got cell phones, so telephone problem is solved. But cant help the doorbell:)

2.Zadra's law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to its reach :P

3.Willoughby's law When you try to prove to someone that a machine wont work, it will.
This always happens in a EEE machines lab, where you toil and give the complicated circuit connections, sweat to make the motor run, but the stubborn motor gives no heed, even after you plead on all fours. The you go to the lab incharge, quite reluctantly but helplessly, listen to all his rantings that you are the dumbest student he has ever had in his glorious experience of 10 odd years, you have to make your face look like you are deeply sorry to disturb him and that you are really really dumb to even add 4+9 properly,erm....I know I still stick out fingers and toes for tat but anyway..look guilty.tats the point. I think there is great chemistry between the lab techie and the stupid induction motor, should be love at first sight. The moment lad techie touches him/her(the motor), starts running,smoothly and sweetly. He gives you one good-for-nothing look and storms out. Bah..Murphy is so so right..

4.The queue Principle The longer you wait in the line the greater is the probability that you are in the wrong line.

5.Finagle's eighth rule Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else :)

6.Banana Principle If you buy bananas before they are ripe, there wont be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before eating.
Moral: Dont eat or buy bananas. Not worth so much ado. I don like bananas yeeks!!!

7.Ballance's Law of Relativity How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on
No solution, you cant have a doorless bathroom :)

8.Jacob's Law To err is humane- to blame it on someone else is even more human :)

9.Horowitz'Law Whenever you turn on the radio, you hear the last few notes of your favorite song

10.Murphy's laws' Law
1.Stores that sell Volume One, will not know of Volume Two.
2.Stores that sell Volume Two will be out of Volume One.

bits and pieces here and there....

This is a scribbling of few of my experiences over this week. Been quite active, in the sense, slept only for 10 hrs from the past week record of 15 hrs a day :)

* Have you ever felt like seeking solace even behind the skimpy, scanty, almost non existent clothes of Mallika Sherawat? Well, i did feel like for once :) A friend of mine sent her non objectionable and viewable honeymoon pics :P. She called up and asked me if I saw the photos. I was busy doing nothing as always, nothing at all, including viewing the pics she so fondly sent to me of all creatures :( The phone conversation went like this :

friend: Hey hullo you alive ? Why didn you call me up you stinking pig , after seeing the pics i sent?

Me: Hey hundred years de. Was just about to place you a call. cant believe it. Yeah de, super pics, I especially liked you amidst snow ( here i took a wild guess , as it should definitely be snowing in Switzerland now, and we Indians will look at snow like a 15-day-starved cat looks at milk :), took a shot that she should ve posed in snow for sure :)

friend: Are you sure you saw the pics?

Me: Hey kya yaar, i am being so descriptive, don't believe me ah?

friend: How can you view the pics when I forgot to attach them ? I actually called to say that but anyways wanted to see how you react.

Me: hello hello hello...
Hey dear, i really apologise for lying. So in case you are reading this forgive me. And yeah, send the pics now :) will see it and write in next post about it :)

* I am not much of a god fearing person and dont frequent temples. But sometimes have to go with mom, lest should bear the brunt of bad dinner :) Went to a small temple near my place. I really got pissed off with the pujari present there. Seems navarathri festival, special puja etc etc and he was literally bullying people to give money ( min of Rs 500), he started saying things like its for god's sake, dont say no and repent later, blah blah blah. Did god ask him? There are such ridiculous people in this world, who lie and play with the emotional temperament of people for a living.

* Have you ever watched a movie and felt like-whoa, this is the perfect heroine. Was watching Maine Pyaar Kiya this noon. Bhagyashri rocks man.. So simple yet serene, so silent yet glib, so down-to-earth yet charming....

* Been really long since I have been to a green grocers'. When asked for a kilo of beans , he says 40 bucks, i was like "eeks, i want just one kilo, not more". He gives me such a dirty what-a-good-for-nothing-thing early in the morning look and says i can have it for 39 bucks and not less. I buy them, part with money grudging inflation, return home to be smashed by mom for selectively buying the least fresh ones.

* Never go boasting around saying you are a graduate, school topper in tenth, district topper in 12Th, galaxy topper in engineering... I bet you cant answer the questions of your next door sixth grader. So half the time she comes for doubts in Geography, History or even English, I am bathing sleeping or outta house. Planning to spend next week on learning what are adjuncts adverbs bare infinitives etc, Indian revolution and Atlas.. Some way to kill time :)