Cynical me.

Disturbed. Sleepless. Horrified. Innocent children. Traumatic survivors. Helpless parents. Solution? Not any that I can think of. Gun control? May be. How does one control the troubled and ill wired neuron system though? Thank you very much news updates. I know by heart the names of those who caused columbine, virginia tech, aurora, tucsan, wisconsin and newtown. You have made me cynical. All I do when I hear something disturbing is ,"o no, not yet again". I do nothing to the victims. I just know the number. Higher the number, greater the grief.
All I pray is, I dont want to be a part of this number. I dont want to die being a statistic.

One year In a nut shell.

September 24, 2011- adieu to my job.Conversation with myself...
Did I enjoy doing technical work?
No.
Did I have a passion?
No.
Did I work for the sake of working after Engineering?
Yes.
Will I do it again, or rather sit at home?
Sit at home.
Yay, now guilt free.

Sept 25 to sept 28 , 2011- shower of advices from fat , middle aged , skimpy saree wearing aunty on upholding indian culture abroad, cooking and eating south indian food, Worshipping husband and god alike.
My response-
Dear aunty,
I would rather appreciate wearing shorts and a t shirt and not show my not so ugly belly button, than wear a skimpy synthetic saree like yours that flies in all directions showing faded inskirt with tattered ends, and a belly button that is as wide as a man hole. South Indian food- S does not like rice. We have rice in all forms put together like once a week. When i was back in India , I was pretty confused with my roots in south India. Both of us are too lazy to cook an elaborate meal for the two of us and eat left overs. We prefer fresh cooking and eating, that is difficult to attain in sambar, rasam, kootu and rice. Sorry aunty.
S likes me to treat him like a friend. And he is an athiest, me an agnostic, a nasty combination for godly talks or worship. Today, there was a power outage due to thunderstorms last night, we did not have a match box at home. Both of us dont smoke , and dont light diya either. For once, I regretted not being god fearing. Hmph.
Sorry again aunty, but we are better off on our own. *arrogant smirk*.

sept 28 till date- there are so many things about america which make me say,'wish this were in India'. The roads, the discipline of keeping them clean, the fear of law and utmost devotion to it etc. it often makes me wonder, where did we slip? It is just not correct to blame the politicians alone. The moral fabric has to be corrected from the last few decades and last few generations.
The non judgemental attitude of the people is amazing. I can freely walk on the roads with ill fitting clothes, mismatched shoes , unkempt hair , zero jewellery. I wont be judged at all. In india, i will be looked down upon as a parasite. Does this have to do with the culture? Not clear either.
The thing called do-it-yourself. I cannot imagine having a maid, cook, Gardener, handy man etc. you tube is the guru who teaches how to do stuff . There are dedicated hardware shops that help and guide me get the raw materials. I love it. I dont think this will ever happen in india as the labour is cheap and people are lazy and give the pretext of not having time.
I do miss the colors, the streets buzzng with people, the hospitality,the feel of "I,m home".

Adieu to adieu

Am back. Married.settled. Happy. Content. Though with the constant need to have my own space back. Procrastination to write. The complacence that i cannot write. The feeling of well being for the need not to write. But how long could i remain? This long. Get geared for a refreshed insanity flow. Time and again!

Baby aborted ?

I need to take a break from blogging. Just spend sometime with myself. Is my two and half year old baby aborted? Well, will give the tough answer to be given by time.. Until then.. Adieu..Stay good

Yappieee nuuuu year :):)

Wishing my online family a very happy, prosperous,naughty and bombastic new year :)

Be good and stay good.

God Bless :)

XOXO

Love me for a reason:let the reason be Love...

So serene. So beautiful. Like lilies in fresh water, dancing to the tunes of soft westerly winds. Peace. Like the waves on the sea shore who come forward and recede away in shyness. I can see a light. A beautiful white light, shining in its full splendor and glory. I can feel the goodness, the tranquility. I can feel the warmth in the moron chill all over me. I feel like melting away. Like flying. Like a motley of variegated colors exploding pleasantly in my head with all brilliance.

 Finally I feel God has heard me. My wish of just one extra day with him has come true. I know he cant leave so abruptly. Leaving me to grope in the blinding darkness. Leaving me with so many infectious aberrations around. I want to ask him how he is? Is he eating well? Taking his BP tablets properly? Watching his favorite Cricket matches? Going on long drives (but with whom? As my mom is here, perhaps hoping he’ll come back some day, one day, today?). 

A sudden jerk. The bus has come to a halt for nature calls  near midnight. Everything disappears. Memories remain. Thanks Dad, You have always been the one to wish me first on my birthday.And this year is no exception.Thank you Very very much.You showed me to fight. You showed me Blood is NOT thicker than water. You showed me the true colors of everyone near and dear.You showed the survivor in me.

Some people form indelible imprints in your life. No matter how far they are, or how near, they are always there. To support, to care, to love. Dictionary calls them FRIENDS but I call them LIFE. A few click click moments with them all..

 Party at ma place for Bharathi's Birthday :) (from left: Anu,Vikram,Urundai,Korr,arithri,malini bharathi,JK @the phone guy,Suma, Nannu,Her Highness and Bhai :))

 

Thinking hard.. Please comment on my photographic skills :)

 

 Nannu, my nephew sang and me :) He has the sole authority and guts to make me dance to his varied tunes..I am not complaining though. I love every bit of insanity.

 

 My ex-juniors Kamala and Divya who took the pains to travel far and long to see me.

 Prasun. He gets me the choicest books every year on my day. We hardly talk ( rather I dont talk). But still.. we are good friends. As I say, In true relationships physical closeness and hi-how-are-you phone calls never really matter.

 Bharathi. The forever Bulwark. Needless to say anything more.

 Priya Mom and Me :)  I love this pic and the people in it :)


Thanks mommie for the book :) Will read and review soon :)

 Madhu. The insensible guy when it comes to thinking aloud. But yeah, He is  the best :)

 Greeting card- best way to express you care.

Which is lovelier ? the watch or the luxury chocolates? Still thinking..

 

A consortium of all the goodies that wonderful people gave me. As a token of their remembrance, their love and affection. Yeah, am creative to border them with new dupattas( thanks Mother Earth for your 20%discount offer and Bhai for your overflowing bank balance :))the only color of my life for six days as we have to wear uniforms (colorful duppata allowed).  

Missed Viji, Leena, Ini, Moti, Revs though :(

My grandma's sister visited us on my Birthday. She has her Knee replaced recently but nevertheless climbed three floors to see me. This is my achievement. Love in someone's heart. A guileless heart who blessed me. 

I am indeed a lucky girl. Aint I??

PS: I know that many of my friends read this blog but never comment. Just drop by this post to say a hi.  I shall be honored.

Nothing to loose

So, I had been to Coimbatore this weekend. To meet my little fussy sister, who got conjunctivitis and acted as though she was on death bed and her last wish was to see me. I pulled along, cursing the darn elastic strings of emotional bonding!!

I took the bus from Bangalore. I was shaken out of my beautiful reverie by the lack of rickety motion of the bus. I realized there was traffic jam on either side of the Mettur by-pass road, for nearly 2 km long.

Reason: Head on collision between a highway traffic patrol car and a lorry.

Casualities: None. Albeit The” Ego war” between the highway police and lorry driver as to whose fault it was and who should move out of the road first. (yeah, we the people of India have a deep rooted obsession for public property including roads, that a few years down, I wont be surprised even if NH roads are issued Legal heir certificates).

Finally after two heated hours of bickering, a third party Police intervention took place to pacify their brothers involved and clear up. The bollywood formula that the Police arrives after the “THE END” card flashes is true.

The 2 km long traffic had all sorts of vehicles and people stranded. Marriage parties, buses, two wheelers, cars of various sizes and shapes and prices and also AMBULANCE, in which a tiny life was struggling to extricate from the darkness of the womb ( Little did she know that it is the safest place ever). The lady delivered in the ambulance. Sans any Doctor. With Just a few villagers who held sarees to cover her up from poring, curious yang eyes. The lady and baby survived. The real endurance test, for both alike. The umbilical cord was cut with a Gillette shaving razor. Then the reality slapped hard on my face. Do we have any value for Human life here? Had this ambulance been stranded in USA, the highway patrol, lorry man and police dept would have been sweet geol birds for eons. Now I love my country and am not being a cynic, but this made me think. WHO IS TO BLAME?